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Suddenly you turned your head
Lowered your eyes and refused to look
Shrugged away my offered hand
Just walk away, you said to me
Walk away
Walk away

But I could never just forget
Not after all this time, not now
Not all the things you gave to me
Just let it go, you said to me
And walk away
Just walk away

You wouldn't turn back to me again
Wouldn't let me see your eyes
And even though I knew you cried
Just walk away, I told myself
Walk away
Walk away
:iconauroraexecutionchan:

Author's Comments

I dunno if I'm really happy with this. I kind of like the way it turned out, but it sounds a bit weird to me as well.

I just wanted to write something about people unable to be together, so they break apart, unwillingly.

Comments


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:iconkinokokoro:
I like that you're trying something different with this one, using the last two lines of each stanza to reemphasize a point. I seem to keep visualizing music in addition to these, so they seem best suited for that.

In terms of the story you wanted to tell, I got a sense of it, though maybe not complete depth you were aiming for. I feel it worked better for capturing the moment of sadness and separation between them, and its always open for interpretation.

The one line that did stand out was "Just let it go, you said to me" combined with the "just walk away" in the second stanza. It drives home the point of choice in separation, even if unwilling.
:iconauroraexecutionchan:
Yeah, I was visualizing music too. ^^; I wish I had a melody...

This was actually pretty much all the story I had in mind, which is probably why it's so lacking in that department. >.>

I'm glad to hear, though, that you got the feeling of it, and that the repetition made sense for you. ^_^

--
"You can lead an ass to water, but you can't make him think." - from "The Lioness and Her Knight" by Gerald Morris

The Epic webcomic has a website! Visit us at [link]

Club: ~The-Temple
:iconauroraexecutionchan:
Haha, I'm going to take that as a positive? I can never tell with your comments if you like it or not... ^-^

--
"You can lead an ass to water, but you can't make him think." - from "The Lioness and Her Knight" by Gerald Morris

The Epic webcomic has a website! Visit us at [link]

Club: ~The-Temple
:iconzemotion:
Hahaha if i comment I generally like them~

--
zemotion.net | Twitter | Blog | Facebook
:iconauroraexecutionchan:
Good to hear~

Man, I haven't talked to you in a while, hope you're doing well over there. ^^

--
"You can lead an ass to water, but you can't make him think." - from "The Lioness and Her Knight" by Gerald Morris

The Epic webcomic has a website! Visit us at [link]

Club: ~The-Temple

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October 29
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