Suddenly you turned your head
Lowered your eyes and refused to look
Shrugged away my offered hand
Just walk away, you said to me
Walk away
Walk away
But I could never just forget
Not after all this time, not now
Not all the things you gave to me
Just let it go, you said to me
And walk away
Just walk away
You wouldn't turn back to me again
Wouldn't let me see your eyes
And even though I knew you cried
Just walk away, I told myself
Walk away
Walk away















Comments
In terms of the story you wanted to tell, I got a sense of it, though maybe not complete depth you were aiming for. I feel it worked better for capturing the moment of sadness and separation between them, and its always open for interpretation.
The one line that did stand out was "Just let it go, you said to me" combined with the "just walk away" in the second stanza. It drives home the point of choice in separation, even if unwilling.
This was actually pretty much all the story I had in mind, which is probably why it's so lacking in that department. >.>
I'm glad to hear, though, that you got the feeling of it, and that the repetition made sense for you. ^_^
--
"You can lead an ass to water, but you can't make him think." - from "The Lioness and Her Knight" by Gerald Morris
The Epic webcomic has a website! Visit us at [link]
Club: ~The-Temple
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zemotion.net | Twitter | Blog | Facebook
--
"You can lead an ass to water, but you can't make him think." - from "The Lioness and Her Knight" by Gerald Morris
The Epic webcomic has a website! Visit us at [link]
Club: ~The-Temple
--
zemotion.net | Twitter | Blog | Facebook
Man, I haven't talked to you in a while, hope you're doing well over there. ^^
--
"You can lead an ass to water, but you can't make him think." - from "The Lioness and Her Knight" by Gerald Morris
The Epic webcomic has a website! Visit us at [link]
Club: ~The-Temple
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